I do swear that I'll always be there.
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength, happiness
and sorrow, for better or worse,
I will love you with every beat of my heart.
i like perfection.
love to laugh and make someone laugh.
the smell of hotcakes from mac is aphrodisiac.
coffee fuels me, and i make good spokesperson for Nescafe.
i have a weakness for ice-cream and jap food,
they never fail to make my day right.
green-tea flavoured food tempts my taste buds.
i love cold hard cash,
and i indulge in shopping for shoes, bags, clothes, watches and perfumes, all the time.
i live to club, and i can drink my guts out.
self-centered people irks the hell out of me
i don't like people controlling me and telling me what to do.
distance ran: 10km and counting.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
down with a bad sore throat, headache and body aches.
cried over the phone last night.
felt better after that though. but i think i look like a cry baby. HAHA.
i've step back too many a times that i have trapped myself at the corner of the room. on the verge of falling.
i'e given up, and i don't hope anything much from you other than just leave me alone.
when you feel so frustrated at things. when you just wanna give up on everything. when you are so sick of life. when you feel so hopeless.
there so much i wanna tell so much to say. but there's no way i can, cos' all you ever do is just shut your ears upon me. you never listen.
when a home doesn't feel like a home, how can i stay?
you always say i am making you worry giving you trouble, but have you ever been in my position to think for me? NO. you said i only think for myself, that's because you never thought for me at all. you never once asked me: "how was my day?" you care only through controlling and comparing me. if that's the way you care for me, i rather not have any.
you say i treat this home like a hotel, because i don;t feel love in this house. i never felt happy at all at home, that's why i stayed out.
i not being rebellious. i've pass that stage. its just when you've reached the brim, nothing really matters very much.
the only thing that's right in my life now its him, and my friends. i am glad i've known and met them. i'm thankful for them.
in them i find happiness. in them i felt love. in them i felt everything is worth living for.
i wake up everyday thanking god, and at the same time, i blame him.
this post shall be just complaints complaints and more complaints
i am stuck in school now. so many ongoing projects and there is just not enough time for everything.
there are so many kinds of people in this world, and there is this one kind that totally irritates the hell out of me: SELF CENTERED PEOPLE. they think that the world revolves around them and all they do is about themselves themselves and still themselves. they never consider for those around them and are down right selfish. my only word to them: FUCK OFF!
i don't know why i've been meeting so many people who really irks me these days. am i being difficult or its them who are being irritating?
life has been not at all great. its good in some ways but then there's trade-offs too. you can't be getting the best of both worlds right? so ya. just live with the shit.
but there's something in my life that never went wrong. its you.
been stuck in a situation where you wanna say something but you don't know how to say it cause you are uncertain of the reaction of the other party. it may be good, may be bad, or no reaction. you don't know. its this "don't know" that you fear the most. i don't like being in this "don't know" situation. maybe i should just say it out and not think too much. whatever may happen, we'll see then. Ha. this is so unlike me.
sometimes, i don't like things at home. my mom. its not that i hate her, or i am in bad terms with her. its just that she is so "urgh". she just don't understand. i can't tell her anything. i hate telling lies to her so as to cover up the truth. cos' i know, telling her the truth will be disastrous. i mean clubbing. why does she have this perception that clubs are very "complicated" place? and why dos she think that going to clubs is a bad thing? She doesn't trust me, she compares me with people who i cannot be, and she just doesn't listen! SOMETIMES I JUST HAD ENOUGH OF HER! she adds on to the stress that i have and she doesn't realise that when we quarrel, it may not be my problem, BUT HERS! I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM, BITCH! ITS YOU! YOU ARE MY PROBLEM! ok. i haven't quarreled with her la. but just all the things bottled up for a little too long. how i wish she just leave me alone sometimes. let me do what i want and whatever that may happen, i will bear the consequences. I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!
hais. shit life. shit place. but that only thing that is right will make up for all the wrongs.
i am having a headache now. not those throbbing kind. oh damn! i just don't know how what to do and how to do. Uncertainties!
the movie, 4bia. watch it over last weekend with my boy and it scare the shit out of me. HAHA i wanna watch Wall.E, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Boys Over Flowers (F4)-the movie
anyway. Andy Lau is coming to Singapore for concert on December 12. the tix are super ex. haha. but not interested.
RUN RUN RUN... i want to make it to the top 100. its like a unreachable dream. to complete 10km in an hour plus. HohOho. its harder than hard. but i will try.
its freaking 9:21am and I AM AWAKE! haha. why? i will be going for a run later. for? New Balance Real Run on Oct haha. i am gonna make this my debut run. its 10km so i better start building my stamina. my mum is a little apprehensive about it, because of my existing medical condition but i am still going ahead.
training for determination, endurance and motivation
and it gives me a reason to shop. new shoes, new track shorts, haha... and... i need to go register for it...
JIA YOU! hopefully by next year it will be a half marathon for me.
photos. fireworks on 22 and 23 Aug
we have to start of with my photos first. its an unspoken rule.
the crowd. with was miles long. but anyway we caught a rather good view despite arriving at around 8:50pm was only blocked by some stupid trees when the fireworks are shot low sometimes, environmental landscaping sucks.
my favourite. the silhouette.
this was ystd. (sat)
caught the fireworks are war memorial. rather ok view but not very good for photo taking because of the F1 scaffolding being build. and i caught the fireworks with mr peh. haha. my boy caught it too but we were at different location. it was literally watching the same skyline but at a different place. he was at Padang doing duty for the Army Half Marathon which will be held today.
so, Singapore Table Tennis Women settled for a Silver. "told ya i was right". anyway, you can think with your butts that Singapore in any case would never win Gold, unless lady luck got drunk and smiled at Singapore.
my mum was telling me: "actually i prefer China to win gold. if Singapore win gold, sure the gahmen will be so ya-ya one." and i gave her the -_- looks. but i think i also prefer China to win, cos' i so damn freakingly don't like Ms Lee. She has this air of stupid arrogance in her.
anyway, watch this its this Hungary weight lifter who dislocated his right arm while lifting a 145kg weight. and mind you, its his debut appearance, and he had this freak accident. Damn Suay. i didn't watched the video, cos' i already freaked out when i heard about it and imagine what it will look like. HAHA. so watch at your own risk la.
to me, you are like a growing addiction i can't deny
complacency kills. i must not let it blind my vision to obtain what i want. i am close to my goal, and i must not let it hinder my progress. I MUST NOT GET COMPLACENT. i must continue to strive for it. don't let the comments from others affect my thoughts. there is nothing that can stop me. only when i have obtain what i set out to do, then can i stop. its a never ending race. small success on the way will only make me work harder towards the ultimate goal. i cannot get complacent by all small successes. its the BIG SUCCESS that awaits me at the finishing line. AJA FIGHTING!
---//--
duhs. my weekends always end up in a drunken state. feel so tired now. my boy had a hangover. LOL.
went for Waraku Pasta with May, Wk, my boy and Shi Yu yummy. i want their pork cutlet curry rice (w/o the rice) again! haha
anyway, fireworks festival this year will be held on 22nd and 23rd august 9pm. hopefully i do catch it this year, so that i can say i have watched it for 3 consecutive years. hehe. get me? and the best view to watch is none other than the Singapore Flyer! eh... my hint damn obvious le hor?!
haha. but seriously la. it really doesn't matter where i watch it from. but rather whom i watch it with. so be it the flyer or with the crowd at the marina square, its ok. but of course flyer is the best la. but then, must also see can get tickets ma, cos' it will sure be super pack de.
was talking to Eunice just now on the phone while she's at work. (good hor, her work so 'eng eng cheng cheng' one) i was telling her, is it because that the grass is really greener on the other side or is it our perception that it is greener? HAHA.
sometimes i still wonder, how can i get the best from both worlds?
OT is a killer. and i love that song!
ps: hey peeps, in an attempt to reduce my teleco bills, try to discuss anything with me online if it is not urgent. or sms to check if i am at home so that i can give u a call from home. thanks.
ok. bad news. i've bombarded my phone bills. its 120+ for last month. LOL. don't ask me how i use until like this, cos' its obvious. gotta go devise a plan so that i can bring down the bills and at the same time not loose the 'communication time'. LOL.
the skyline just right in front of your eyes
why so serious? smile.
when you have the thrill, you seek stability when you have the stability, you seek the thrill. that's how un-contented, we humans are. images of not too long ago flashed past my eyes a while ago.
forever. there's no such thing. till now i still believe that 'forever' does not exist.
at least we will stick with each other until one of us 'expires'.
---//---
lol. good for mr peh lehs the day went well for him... HAHA. but we can expect to see him less often le if things are working well for him. LOL. got girl don't want friends le
met my boy after school for sushi and movie ystd ha. we literally ate ourselves(or rather its him) broke LOL Money No Enough 2 is super ultra funny la... but i cried towards the end. damn emo.
Mike's Bday and Drinking session at Shi Yu's place (2nd Aug) the wines at Mike's place. Hardy's Voyage is darn nice!
me!
shi yu's place for drinking session. SHIOK!
meeting May and my boy for dinner (8 Aug)
National Day (9 Aug)
*removed*
my heroine
lucky he and his friends was release later in the evening and therefore the party at night was as usual. WOOT! but it was almost spoiled by some idiotic ang moh. damn. i think its my fault la. freak.
my boy and i
what's with that smile?
flaming something (i forgot the name but i was damn chio)
Mike wore his birthday suit. haha looks good. but i forgot to take photo. music was kind of okay. drinks were okay. the moves were good. but the night ended in a rather dramatic way.
i like it on top. the freedom, the space, the attention. but i think i need to think of others rather than only myself. i have to consider his feelings too. but then there will be things i need to forgo, which i think will defeat its purpose of going in the first place.
how do you have the best of both worlds?
what happens inside stays there, what important is, at the end of the day, its you who i will still hold on to.
---//---
party-ed too hard. too hard that the consequences was almost disastrous.
I AM HAPPY! ok. i think i am stressing too much on the fact that i am happy. but i can't help it. :) s-o-r-r-y.
reasons to be happy: - my boy will be back tonight - will see him soon (later/tmr) - i m going to Haji Lane wif May. - i am eating Jap tomorrow - Movies - Fireworks - Clubbing at Powerhouse. lots of booze
BUT I'VE NOT FINISH MY WORK! i think i should just put it at the back of my head and let the weekend take control.
LOL
i've enjoyed life too much but why so serious? life is too short to be not enjoying every moment.
IMMA SO HAPPY CAN. even though i din tell him. lol. sat is coming. sashimi, movies, fireworks and club.
he was asking me what i want to do on sat actually i wanted to say: lets go sit singapore flyer! but den, change my mind. cos' it will be packed that day, and i've been on it b4 le. oso, it will cost a bomb and we will spend alot more later in the night. so ya... more down to earth la... any suggestion on wad to do? singapore is boring!
ok. i noe i sound so chirpy. HAHA BUT I AM HAPPY OK!!!
i am currently... - taking a short break from the WIL assignment which is due in about 2 hours time - listening to my mp4 (奋不顾身-萧敬腾) - thinking of the weekend ahead - waiting for your sms, telling me you are back - waiting for your call
gawd! i am so tired. coffee is my fuel to keep me going for the past few days. afterwards, i can sleep. but i have got a lot more assignments to do and tests to study never ending work.
damn. i'm annoyed. some people are so fucking selfish. selfish people like you deserve to die. and i mean it! why do people like you exist in the first place.
had a very funny conversation with may just now me: my phone is so quiet these days may: haha me: but i think its good la, since i am busy anyway. may: -_-"
but then, i wish you are around.
---//---
oh boy oh boy... i miss my boy already. its day 2. outfields are a drag.
1 day to WIL individual submission. 2 more days before he can be contacted. 3 more days before we can meet and the opening ceremony of Beijing Olympics. 4 more days to national day, powerhouse and sashimis.
my boy has officially left for outfield this morning. which means no more morning call, and guess what?! I WOKE UP LATE! suppose to leave home at 8am for school but i slept till 745am. i forgot to set my handphone alarm, relying too much on his morning calls.